Caroline Courtis: "The Interview"

0:00 F [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] welcome back to the nullified take Channel on YouTube where we've got the TNT takes for you on Australian Survivor Titans versus Rebels I am joined by the runnerup of Australian Survivor Titans versus Rebels Caroline how you doing I'm good Chris how are you doing I am doing amazing I always get excited you know I had a very busy day at work today and I was so tired by the end of the day but when I knew I was going to interview

1:20 You and I knew I was going to speak to a Survivor player I was so excited it just re-energized me coming back home and I'm so excited to have you know you're part of a very select group only a few people that have ever been Runner UPS of Survivor has that sunken in yet like I know it's probably better sweet because you'd love to win but even getting to the end that's an accomplishment in itself I think getting on the show was an accomplishment so getting to the end is like there's still Pro I think I'll be processing it for a long time but I definitely I've come back down to earth now and I really feel like I'm so proud of my game I'm so proud of what I've done I know what happened out there I know what I did out there and that's all that matters yeah I mean we spoke about a little bit before going live you said you know there's the show and the edit which we all respect it put out a great I think show for everybody to enjoy and Australian Survivor for me the last couple of seasons have been slammed dks in regards to that they're just putting on a spectacle but then obviously you live out there we see a snippet of what's happened when you're the island and tonight we're going to die into maybe a few of the things that happened that we didn't see some experiences you had out there and I know the fans just love hearing the behind the scenes and I want to say hello to a few people in the live already that have jumped in we've

2:40 Got Chris all the way from the USA as well as Danica so it's very early in the morning in the USA both of them I think are new to Australian Survivor I know Chris is new to Australian survivor really loved your season we've got vova saying we've got our favorite Midwife as well Chris is very excited to hear from you as well D saying Caroline as a super fan what did you cons what do you consider to be the best old school us season and players from the OG era in the first 10 seasons does that make sense because youve have you watched all of them right you've watched all of the years yeah so I've definitely watched all of old school's all of us Survivor and all of Australian Survivor oh gosh tough question off the rip here Jenny you didn't even get Carol to like warm up into the podcast you're like straight for the juggler oh gosh David versus Goliath oh there's so many I China was amazing I mean I even loved Australia I loved I mean winners at war was amazing oh there so I love them all and I love them all for different reasons as well yeah I'm a very big Kagan fan I have oh I love KAG yeah chaos yeah oh your favorite was Cass I can see that well

4:01 She was one of my favorites on there were a lot of favorites on that season I do I did love that season as well yeah brilliant season now as a fan of the show and someone that has watched a lot of Survivor were you equally as big a fan of the Australian franchise before applying like did you give it the same amount of attention or was it predominant the US franchise no I probably got obviously got more into like I my love of Survivor came from us Survivor but then when the Australian season started especially like we've just done season nine so when christe won her season in what is what in the new era of Australian Survivor is season one yeah I watched it from then on and I knew that coming into this season like we had so much to prove because last season was so amazing and had such an amazing winner and so there was a lot of pressure on us but then once we hit the beach it was like let's just do this like let's just go have fun you know this is amazing we're all here you know it was fantastic and so sorry you go no so I was gonna ask and what was the what was the thing that got you because there's a lot of fans out there I speak to fans all the time that are like we love watching the show but we could

5:21 Never go out there and actually play like I'm not one of those like I would gladly go out there and play even if they put me on my least favorite season fans versus favorites I would still go out there and play you know but there's a lot of fans who don't want to go there can you talk about a little bit about the motivation that you had to actually not just be someone sitting on the couch but actually going out there and playing so like I'm I've been a midwife for over 20 years I've been a nurse for 30 years I'm a mom of three kids you know I'm married I've you know lived a very like and really interesting life I've done lots of different things but I've never really I mean my job is a full-on job right it's if you knew what Midwife did in a day you wouldn't you would not you would run 10 miles in the other direction it's a hard job it's an amazing job it's the best job but I just wanted to really do something for me and because I loved the show so much I turned in 2019 I turned around to my husband one night and I was like I think I'm going to apply I think I really want to do this I want to see if I can do this I feel like this is something that I could be quite good at and he just thought I was Bonkers he just thought I was crazy and he was like go right ahead and so I did apply that year I got through the auditions

6:41 And but then didn't get any further and then obviously covid hit I had some personal things going on it just wasn't my time and then early last year you know when you've applied for Survivor before you get a notification in the mail that applications have opened again and then I started tracking down casting producers on social media and ended up messaging one and she and she said get your get your application done get your audition video and you know you'll know that the application is a lengthy process they know that they really want to see every single little itty ditty B thing about you but then the audition is where you can really shine like there's nothing like really showing you they want to see so much of you and I just mine was just really funny my daughter videoed it we did it I did it completely differently from my last video but I just really wanted to take the piss out of myself and just really show them how much of a fan I was but also what other qualities I could bring in terms of speaking to camera you know making fun of myself and my and you know forming relationships

8:02 With other people and anyway it I loved it I showed it to a friend again today I'm really proud of it anyway and so I ended up getting an audition and that went great at the audition I made her laugh I made her cry and I thought okay I've really got this woman and you know when you're eliciting that those kind of emotions from people you know that you they're not going to forget you and she said look I don't know they might call you they might not we'll wait and see and I was like yeah they're going to call me any and yeah they called me about three days later and said okay we want you to go and meet the executive producer and we want you to meet some other people in a paneled audition and I went and did that and you know you've really just got to show be yourself in that as well and that was I mean of course you're going into something like that quite nervous but you can't you've just got to go in and be yourself and be the best version of yourself and that's what I did and I've got like I swear quite a bit naturally and hopefully I won't embarrass you too much tonight but and I knew that there were a couple of things there were a couple of personal conversations that I made with people in there that I knew they wouldn't forget me I knew that they felt a bond with me

9:22 And I thought as long as I can go in and do that and establish some kind of bond with people then I'm going to be fine and then we just had to wait and it's quite a bit of a process to wait but then when I was told that I was on the show no one was at home and I screamed I like screamed I jumped up and down I said I don't know how many [ __ ] I said but a lot and it was just it was the best feeling I just thought wow okay I've really done this I'm going to be part of this Survivor family and that was really important to me so yeah then it was a matter of getting myself ready and at that point I'd already you know I was already well and truly training with a personal trainer like you physically it's a really obviously you can see it's a hard game but doing things palm frond weaving and making fire making fire every night I bought myself a fire pit I bought myself a flint I bought myself coconut every like the stuff that I thought that they would have out there and I made fire every night before I went to bed I'd do it 10 times you know see how many times I could get it done in 10 minutes all that kind of stuff so yeah we've got some great live comments coming in while you're talking so I want to bring up a couple Chris said it is so nice seeing your husband on the show and seeing how proud he was that you made him so proud

10:42 Being on the show Gabe says Chris is going to be stalking the poor Australian Survivor producers he says it like I haven't done it already like it's history Gabe I've already been in the deal yeah but I don't know if it's going to work again because aen apparently also did it so you know really I think he should do it guys Matt says Caroline I'd love to know your background as a midwife is this something that you've done for a long time what got you into that career path oh gosh so when I decided that I wanted to became a midwife I was 22 and I her at that point in Australia to become a midwife you had to do a Nursing degree first so I am a very determined person Chris and I know that you've seen my a like my video before I went on and I am a very determined person and so I somebody said to I wasn't quite I was working in travel as a travel agent and somebody said to me my God you'd be an amazing Midwife and I thought bloody hell that's a that's something that fascinates me it's something that interests me and I ended up going to University doing really well I did my Nursing degree I had three children and then when my youngest son was

12:02 Three I became a midwife and that was a year another year of full-time study and I was very determined to do that and it's one it's you know other than having my kids it's one the other thing that I am most proud of is my career I've been you know I know that people were kind of talking on the on the podcast about what makes a Titan well you know I know that I was one of the best like I know I've affected so many people's lives in such a positive way and you know to be a midwife you have to be a strong organized disciplined and very determined person as well you've because you're a patient advocate all that kind of stuff so it was very important to me to and I'm the type of person I need to do well at everything I do I don't just give 50% I give 150% and so I was yeah very determined to do well in that as well but anyway I love my I love my career as a midwife I will always be a midwife like there's being a midwife is such a passion and my and my passion is in women's health and female advocacy and so it's something I will have with me till the day I die yeah and work was okay with you taking this time off there wasn't any issues for you to take the time off to go away so I

13:22 Had taken long service leave and so I don't know where whether you know where I live but I'm from melb but we moved to Northern New South Wales about a year and a half ago and I took my service leave and I just I needed some time off like after covid and then the ensuing I lost my mother at the beginning of CO as well and then I ju like by the time that two years ago came up I just needed a break from it I definitely was very burnt out as many midwives are and you know I gave everything 100% well over Co I've never I think healthcare workers you know as hard as it was for everyone it was extremely difficult for healthcare workers and where we were right at the Forefront and I'm working in birth Suite with you know parents we're not sure whether the partner can come in we're not sure there are no visitors you know they're walking in and if they've got any symptoms they're being tested you know and quarantined and it was so difficult and we were also learning you know on not on the fly but in a very in a very disciplined manner how and organized way how all

14:42 Our processes have had to change very quickly so yeah Co was hard so I didn't have to worry about asking anyone for any time off because I was I'd taken some time off to just get myself get myself back to myself again really yeah I feel like the live chat's kind of taking over the interview here because they're asking really good questions I'm going to bring the next one up as well Gabe is asking Caroline were you scared going in as a super fan older women really do well in Australian Survivor it's primarily been Shan Shane and Janine that have succeeded were you aware of that was that sort of playing into your mindset and how did that how did that sort of affect your preparation going into the game it didn't affect my preparation in any way other than I worked as hard as I could so but my mindset going in was okay I need to get into an alliance a majority Alliance very quickly I need to make myself very I need to be working hard around Camp I need to make myself Not Invisible but get the Target off my back because I knew that I was the old I was the oldest person on my tribe on the Titans tribe and I was the weakest person I mean I got onto that tribe and I called them the buttocks and biceps tribe because everyone had the biggest biceps

16:03 And the most beautiful butts you've ever seen and so and I was just like the ugly stepsister kind of waggling behind but I just wanted to make myself extremely useful and also not get in not get under anyone's feet not kind of hit the ground running and put a Target on my back at all so I was very conscious of not being that first Boot and you know it obviously it worked in our favor because I you know we established that majority of seven on day one day two so I knew I'd got myself into a really good situation and then I know we'll get into the food and the rice and all that kind of stuff but I'll and I'll explain then how that came about because I didn't want that role either God who wants to be the m and who wants to be the cook not me but anyway yeah I hope obviously the editors had a lot of fun with that because they had to like focus on certain moments and they were focusing on the moments where you had to put down the law so if you want to talk a little bit about that how that happened because you know very early on you're kind of seen as a bit of a rice Nazi you're almost like I know to be referred to as a rice Nazi like I wanted to punch you guys through the screen I was so we get there on we didn't

17:23 Have Flint we didn't have fire for more than three days Chris it was wild so OB ly we lose that first immunity we l lose that first challenge then we lose the first immunity Challenge and meanwhile it's pouring with rain so for the first three nights it poured with rain and our shelter was the shittest shelter apparently in Sur Australian Survivor history oh wow I'm surprised they didn't they didn't show us more of that it was bad and I think Eden spoken about like he was kind of waiting for that older guy to come out and say yeah this is how we build a shelter and he was that older guy and yeah and I certainly was you know like I said no I don't want to put a Target on my back I could have probably contributed to that but I just thought no I'm GNA hang back and I'm gonna I'm gonna do whatever you need me to do I'll be I'll do what yeah I'll serve in whatever role you need me to do anyway by the time we got when we went to obviously when we went to our first Tribal Council we got flint and but it was still piercing with rain and so we had to wait till the next day till we could dry some wood and kindling and leaves out to actually ignite it and then I remember Nathan turning around and going so who's going to cook the rice

18:43 And oh you mom you're going to cook the rice can you cook the rice I was like yeah sure no worries it wasn't a roll that I really wanted but of course I knew how to cook rice and so then I cooked rice and you know the there isn't in the edit you see me saying to winner like that one time that I said you know and he had this huge shell of rice and what people don't know is that at that time there were probably there were five people off having interviews right because we're not all on the beach at exactly the same time we've got to go and have our interviews and do things and there were people missing and so if they're missing they're not getting the food and so I wanted to make sure that everyone got fed because this you know if you we're only eating very small amounts and we're only eating them twice a day and so you don't want anybody to miss out because you don't want to be that person that was responsible for that person missing out on food either so you tell Tom you know I will tell Tom I was such a difficult position to be in because I'm trying to be the nice person making sure that everyone got an equal share or at least

20:03 Got a share of the food and that is a very difficult do I want to be in that position again nahh that's not for me gab Gabe here says someone had to ration the food I felt bad for Caroline Matt says they also felt bad for you being in that position and then Brendon I don't know if you know who Brendan is he runs Australian Survivor memes on Instagram oh hey Bron I Know Who You Are he says lord of the rice and then laughing emoji and then also asks here if you were invited back for a Fan's favorite or any partial returning season would you accept and can we have a secret Alliance he wants to work with you're on yeah for sure it's gonna if you guys if it becomes the TNT Alliance I just want like some sponsor that police was formed on the TNT podcast okay yes but that's an interesting question like you've gone through I guess the whole season like you've actually seen it from beginning to end right and having when you're watching it too so like people would say to me haven't you seen this and I'm like no I'm watching it when you're watching it yes yeah so you've gone through this whole season you've experienced that has that sort of burned you out from the experience

21:23 Or is it something where you're now feeling like because I got so close but I was one step away there's still that you feel like unfinished bus if you were to go you I think of like for instance a runner-ups at War season or you know maybe winners versus runner-ups or something like that surely there's something out there that you could return for in the future yeah well I think there's a few of us podcasters that are hoping if there is a fans versus favorite season they'll actually choose true fans of the show Once they dedicate all their free time to talking about the show you know I know I know I would look I know that Tom versus Caroline that is the real rivalry we need to see on we'd have a secret Alliance wouldn't it be funny wouldn't it be funny if Tom and I actually play together one day that would be like Tom needs to manifest that and you know what funny enough Tom would Tom would work with you he would like he would be completely different if he was actually to meet you and play out there and I'm not sure whether it was you or Kahuna was just like Caroline's probably a really nice person in real life and I really am I am a really nice person and like I was saying to my friends my God because they just they didn't understand why I was being portrayed like such a

22:43 Villain but anyway I'm happy it's all good so let's talk about that because obviously Tom's one of like many you have three people in myself maky and Kel I think were a little bit less biased like I mean you're not the only one that Tom went after he went off after Kirby times when K played in my mind an excellent game was outstanding yeah but what's it like I guess from a players perspective you've watched the show before you've been that person on the couch criticizing and saying I could do so much better this person what are they on about and now the script is flipped and you go out there you play the game and you get to experience it from the other side how has that sort of changed your perspective I guess of Survivor now you know and even maybe if you're watching the current Survivor USC are you looking at it very differently is it different for you oh it's so different like even watching the opening scenes of the Survivor 46 episode one like I wed up because I remember that I remember it took me back to that moment when you first hit the beach and you're looking around and you're like oh my God as a fan I'm actually [ __ ] here like I'm really here this is really happening and you know you've not got to let you've got to kind of let that go and go you know what I'm here

24:03 I deserve to be here I'm going to get into game mode let's do this and I was on my tribe I was one of four applicants like the rest of them were recruited so there I think it was about 5050 for the season so I felt and we those people we sorted each other out pretty who those people were out pretty quickly and I knew I wanted to work with people that also knew the game that I could strategize with and you know I know Eden's talked about it before us like literally going out in day two and go you know going and collecting wood together and him and me turning around and saying you know when are we going to [ __ ] talk about alliances kind of thing because nobody's talking about alliances yet and anyway we did so that's interesting so you know getting on the tribe is that the thing that kind of bonded the middle-aged Mafia was the fact that you were all applicants of the show rather than people who were recruited and most of the people outside of that group were no it wasn't no it wasn't what bonded us at straight away because of course we didn't know until we kind of sat down and talked but you could you could kind of tell that at least with I knew with Eden and Mark that they knew something of the show and even Charles but no we definitely like we you know because it's All About

25:23 Numbers Chris and so it's about it doesn't even necessarily need to be with people that you like very much but you know that you need to be in the numbers and getting into the numbers was really important but the fact that I really liked these people was even better like those first week on our tribe it was Kumbaya like I know that you saw from the edit that the rebels were having a fun time we were having the best time Jaden would build these huge fires we would tell stories every night we were you know everyone was learning you know having really beautiful conversations with everyone and learning so much about everyone it was awesome like it was so good to get to know these people and they were all obviously very interesting people really smart so yeah it was hard to start voting people off to be honest but you got to get on with the business don't you 100% And I did want to ask before we start getting into the voting Dynamics and who you sort of sused out very early on and wanted to go against what was your thoughts about the actual theme when you found out that it's going to be Titans versus Rebels did it affect your mindset like knowing that there were a bunch of rebels on the other side did you think that maybe they would be more difficult to work with less predictable due to the tagline that they got in there or did you get very little thought to the I guess

26:43 The theme of the season I pretty much gave very little thought to the title because I think once you get out there you know like I think there is a Titan and a rebel in all of us to be honest I think there was a villain and a hero in all of us and so I really felt like I could and I'm the type of person I can sit down with anybody and have a conversation it doesn't matter what's where you've come from or what you've done or anything like that I don't care if you're a Titan or a rebel it didn't matter so that was of no consequence to me it was actually about the people and you know just yeah I think that for me it was it was very much irrelevant it was about the relationships that I was going to make with other people out there regardless of who they were or what they' done and I'm very curious because obviously the season finishes you meet a lot of the people that you played with I'm assuming you've now met a lot of the players you didn't even play with is there anybody like maybe from like the rebels tribe that you didn't have that chance to play with that you actually really connected outside of the game and you now look back at it and say wow if we were in the same tribe from the start maybe we would have had something good going yeah Garrick and I yeah like I did I never got to meet Garrick like I mean other than being tackled by him in one in when we were

28:03 When we were doing one of the water challenges I we never even communicated with each other we never you know because you're on one side of the mat they're on the other side of the mat and what you also don't know out there is that when we did the Rope pull challenge out that was ah stinking hot day and you see obviously Valeria and I we our rope pull went on for the longest our rope pull was I think it was something like 28 minutes and we're in like 35 40° heat it was that was probably one of the hardest that was one of the hardest immun like hardest physical challenges and I got six blisters on this hand and four blisters on this hand anyway but after that the reason that finished and we won was because Peter at the other end she pulled out and then She fainted and then 10 minutes later I fainted and so we were supposed to go for five rounds and we could only go for four rounds because it was so bloody hot out there it was so taxing on everyone and you know nobody saw that because I wanted to get my family to watch that episode and I was like oh I don't know what they're going to show because I had a camera in my fa my face when they were dragging me off there and but no they didn't show any of it

29:23 So yeah it's interesting what's in the edit what's out of the edit it's very interesting because I feel like if that kind of thing happened on Survivor us that's what they will show they will show players fainting they will show players like Jeff is really focused on the hardship of Survivor and we spoke about this a little bit beforehand is that it's almost in Australian Survivor we love the edit in general but they don't really show a lot of the struggling sort of parts of it like you know how often did it rain for instance when you were out there I've heard Samoa can get really bad with rain and things like that and when it rains it doesn't just sprinkle it paes like it absolutely it's torrential and there were some nights out there where it felt like it was a you know like a hurricane that because when I after trib Swap and I was on the rebels Beach it that's an ocean beach and so we're very we're very exposed to the elements there because we're on Sand and the oceans right there so it was oh my God we I mean Reb built and I helped her and other people helped her but we built a door to put on the front of our shelter because the wind at night some sometimes could be so like the rain would come in sideways and like I said it didn't just sprinkle it poured

30:44 And we were lucky you know when I was at the Titans Beach we won the top and winning the top was like the best thing ever and then when we went to the rebels Beach you know literally had to like plug all the holes we was we would spend if we had a day off we would spend the day like kitty and R and all of us would be out collecting leaves and palm frons and anything we could to plug the holes because it was bad I can imagine like all I have in my mind is like Survivor Samoa way back when Russell Hans played it and him talking about I get stronger when everybody else gets weaker in the game and it's just this downpour of rain the whole time and you had Eric with the very short buzzcut hair like literally sitting inside of a tree trying to hide like it was like a hollowed out tree trying to hide from the elements like so I remember that and I always think to myself they're still in s more with Australian Survivor and they never show those difficult moments like Gabe says Australian survivor really focuses more on the game rather than the human sort of struggle Chris also says oh my God Caroline and Carrick would have been such an iconic de game we' got to know each other outside of the game now and like he's just a beautiful friend

32:04 Now we're just so devastated that we never got to like we never got to a tribe swap together it and yeah we talk about what could have been yeah you've got Kirby to blame for that one I know Gabe says what Drew you to Kitty so early on Caroline and I think Kitty you know would the way the show portrayed it she was your right or die she was your number one is that accurate and can you talk about maybe broadly even how she worked with you in those early stages versus going to the first tribe swap because in that tribe swap I felt like she was a lot of your Social game at times and the way the show portrayed it especially with the girls like with the re and the Saras of the world kind of Drew them in yeah no we were definitely doing that together I mean you know I kind of decid I said to Kitty you know you know when we decided to vote Viola you go and talk to re I'm going to go and talk to Sarah and that's how we did it and so we took one each and that's how we how we got the their two votes but when I first like I said to you earlier before we started the podcast like kitty and I laid our and each other on the barge and we didn't know whether we obviously we found out that day that we were on the same tribe

33:24 Together and I don't know there was just a lot of non verbal communication going on the barge that day and then the minute the second we got to we hit that beach we just grabbed each other's hand and like and she was like you're my number one I was like you're one number one let's just really be honest with each other and we spent so much time talking and getting to know each other's life we actually got into trouble we just shut up because we were talk talking so much to each other about our each other's lives and then she didn't know a lot about the game so she was like great you know about the game so let's work together but we were a really formidable Duo because what you don't see is that kitty and I were both very social prayers and she would I mean she worked her magic so many times in terms of getting Mark and I back together that was that was instigated by Kitty and we can go into that at in later as well but she was an amazing social player and she would be the one you know like so you know we'd think of plans together of course and we'd debate with each other you know okay are we G like because you'd be thinking okay what's this person if we do this what is that person how

34:44 Is that person going to react what's that person going to do what's that person going to do like we went flying by the seat of our pants a lot of thought we tried to put a lot of thought into everything and she was she's a super intelligent person she was great to you know bounce things back at me and say no I think we should do it this way or I'd say no I think we should do it that way yeah she was amazing out there and she was definitely my ride or die from the minute we hit that beach yeah it's obviously it's really sad what happened in the end in terms of where her vote went but I know she's got her own reasons for that and I know what they are and you know I completely respect that yeah and I feel like is the perfect Alliance member in a way to have because she also was very transparent with her face like you could read very easily if she was lying she was uncomfortable like that's the kind of person you want to work with right someone that can't like she's never gonna lie to you and she's never going to betray you and so you know I know in the edit they kind of show her and I like she's you know that kitty betrayed Caroline Kitty never betrayed Caroline we decided together that she wanted to vote one way and I wanted to vote another and we thought gosh we can make this work so beautifully you're getting information from there and I'm getting information from here and we can bring it back and do it together

36:05 And we needed to feel free to play our own games as well because I don't think that you should be you know I know that this is a season where you know there weren't alliances changed all the time that we voted in voting blocks a lot of the time and so therefore things changed and I also knew like as a as a fan as well that 24 hours is a very long time in Survivor and that maybe my head was on The Chopping Block that day but if it was on The Chopping Block that day then sh as eggs it was going to not be on the chopping day chopping block the next day so she and I worked really well together I'm I and we were the felmer and Louise Alliance they didn't show that either we just adored each other I have so much respect for her I'm so glad to have met her out there she was so much fun God she made us laugh Chris she made us laugh so much she was hilarious and that's what you want you want somebody you can talk to cuddle up to and cry to but then also talk strategy with yeah it's interesting we never really saw that part of her personality on the show at all but you definitely fill in some blanks for me because as a viewer I found it extremely strange that she betrayed you and I put that in quotations for those that are listening to the audio

37:25 Format of this podcast but she kind of betrayed you in the show but you were so good with that like you like there was a very different way that you approached Mark versus Kitty's betrayal you know and we'll definitely talk about that a little bit but I want to backtrack a little bit because we had this question asked earlier by one of the live audience as well but I on purpose held back from it I think it was blood Money who asked this question and can you talk us through the viola vote and maybe start off with where you saw the initial Rifts early on because there were elements you following Viola and Valeria around and the show really focused on that and valer and Viola was kind of aware of you folling them around as well GL ask this because that was almost complete [ __ ] I never ever intentionally followed them ever and never like when you see me go out into the sea to because I was washing like a stick that I used to make stir the rice with I did not have any clue that I was interrupting their conversation that was about me so I had no idea but I never ever intentionally followed them or tried to track what they were saying I actually had like especially early on had a really lovely relationship with both of them they're both incredible like

38:46 Both of them have just had the they're both so young I mean Viola was 22 and Val was 31 like their lives up until that point like coming out to Survivor they've lived big lives already and so they had some really interesting stories but what Kitty and I did notice was that because Mark so Mark was he would sleep he would have Viola sleeping on one side of Emit and Valeria sleeping on the other because he had that beautiful big Woolen Poncho and you could see what Val was wearing out there she didn't have a lot of warm clothing and so he kept them warm at nighttime and he like even at one point he said to us to Eden Kitty and I's like I think I'm going to have to tell the V that I can't sleep with him anymore because it's making me look like I do everything with them and we were like well it's up to you know you do what you need to do but you know from the rest of us we you could see that they were getting closer and closer but then I could you know I'm a I could definitely read the room with fola I knew that she thought that I was the weakest person on the tribe and I just I just got an uneasy feeling about her I didn't actually specifically know that she was putting my name already out

40:06 There although some people have said that I knew I didn't know and but I did know instinctively that she was coming for me I could feel it and I say that I can feel fola coming for me and just some interactions that she and I had I thought [ __ ] I've got to get her before she gets me because she's coming to get me I'm like I'm right plucking fruit here for her so and I knew that she had a great relationship with you know she could talk to winner and Jaden yeah and obviously she had Mark I didn't know that Mark was as close to them as I've since found out since watching the show and everything but I definitely wanted to keep MK close and so I went for viola did Mark have a conversation with you afterwards we've had him on the show and I don't remember the problem with having mark on the show is we had him on the show with Ferris I def I should yeah and I love having both of them on but then you kind of have to split your resources between asking both questions so I don't know if I actually asked them this question have you spoken to him about like when he would have made the move if he was going to make the move against you was that like actually in the works to me like he was keeping her from he was trying to keep her in check from doing that's the way it looked like

41:26 Yeah I mean Mark and I probably Mark and Mark and I have spoken he's the person I've spoken to the most since I've left the show Mark and I love that man like he's his experience that he and I had out there we went through a lot together we went through a lot a lot together and so I don't know when he was really I mean he gunned for me three times so he and he definitely got close twice so I don't I've never discussed with him when he was actually going to really like if he was even going to try and pull the trigger again but I can only I can only assume that after he won the car that you know we needed to stick together we needed we needed we needed our numbers together so he wasn't going to gun for me then I don't think we've got a certain Mr Tom in the live audience and I've just sent Tom a message Tom if you have got the time if you're close to home jump on you Caroline would love to have you on the podcast and have a chat with you face to face team Caroline all the way and then people are switch up they're saying they're calling him a switch up here with this I do think we need to get Tom on the podcast at some point as well does

42:47 I hope he does I you know I think it's so easy to judge a person by what they look like and what you assume their motives for going out there are but there's so much more to a person than that like and like thanks saying conf him pull is us out he needs we've been saying the whole season he needs to be I don't embarrass him but I also want to like I want I want him to well I want you all to know like I'm the person that you see out there is completely different from the person that you're meeting right now obviously and I think it's the same with Tom and I mentioned this to you prior to the podcast we all have a character to play like I'm kind of like the dad I keep everybody in check and try and be as impartial as I can and then Tom I don't know like he plays this character up sometimes Mony plays a character up I feel like me and kuna are like the normal ones it's probably why we would never get on Survivor and both Tom and Mony will end up getting you know casted because they're like the two extremes when it comes to the podcast I can't wait for Tom and I to play together in 2025 come on let's go yeah we need to see it people are daring Tom to get online as well they're all saying should get onl soer pressure peer pressure at the moment from pressure for me but I'm obviously like he's gonna have to retract that Rice

44:07 Nazi comment let's be honest yeah definitely I fully agree with you but no that gives me a really good Insight in regards to your thoughts with Viola and one thing that was interesting like on that vote as well you go ahead no you go you go I'll ask I'll answer at the end yeah so one thing interesting for me on that vote is that it looked like Eden was the most reluctant to make the vote against you know because he looked at voting out Viola potentially he's he had some foresight in the edit that was going to be an issue down the line with Mark did you guys think about that was that a part because it looked from an audience standpoint again I'm saying it from an audience standpoint because obviously we see the edited show it looked really bad as a game move for us looking at it where you cut Mark but like you said you weren't aware of how close him and Viola was how much sort into that and were you kind of shocked that Mark like he started gunning after you very hard after that after you tried to still work with him y i and I know that you guys have talked about that you know that I really wasn't reading the room in terms of how he was going to think of me afterward but you have to realize that I didn't realize he was as close to Viola as he was with you know that he kept that very hush and very secret to himself so from our

45:27 Perspective well certainly from kitties and mine like she had to go because I knew she was gunning for me so when somebody's gunning for you out there you know like if it's if it's got to be her or it's going to be you and if she hadn't if I hadn't got her then she would have tried to get me at the next Tribal Council and I can see that now but I knew that once we went to that Rebels Beach and there were there were some things that happened in terms of some conversations that and interactions that happened and I thought oh [ __ ] I need to do something about this right now because you only get a certain amount of time that you can scramble to get your votes together before we go to Tribal Council and I just made that decision and I just said to Kitty and Eden we're doing this and I know in the edit you see Eden like should we shouldn't we should we shouldn't we and I was like no we're bloody doing it yes did I definitely thought about how this was going how Mark was going to react and I just wanted to be honest with him I was going to say to him I felt she was gunning for me what would you what would you do in that situation if somebody's you know somebody's coming for you are you going to gun for them of course you bloody are like that makes that at that moment in time that's what made the most sense and I thought and kitty was like you

46:47 Know like I we felt that we had a good enough relationship with him certainly you don't see it but we def we spoke so much and we definitely felt like we had that relationship that we could tell him honestly this is why we did it we hope you understand and we still definitely want to work with you yeah very interesting and you know because one of the other things that sort of stood out for us on that was the that after Mark obviously sort of had a direct shot back at you and he tried twice and twice failed to get you out of the game there was that moment where you sort of said you didn't want to sleep to it came ACR even for as an Audi I'll ADM it like wow that seems aange because youen a can you talk through that with us like I can't wait to talk through this because yeah when that is shown in the edit you see that at the start of the episode you seen me crying and I you see me crying at the start of the episode but it didn't actually happened then it happened after that Tribal Council so Chris if you can imagine you're sleeping beside somebody every night and you're lying there and you're talking to each other DNM like you're having deep and meaningful conversations about your

48:07 Husbands your wives your lives your dreams secrets we Mark and I spoke about a lot and I really thought that we had something more than that like more than what they showed and so when that night when Valeria said those things to me at that Tribal Council I and then and then they tried to obviously I knew straight away it was me and I and then I knew oh [ __ ] they're G they're voting for me tonight and I thought I'm okay I know I've got the I know I've got the votes but and Mark doesn't know I've got the votes but I thought I've got the numbers here and then when we got back to Camp that night like I was like you [ __ ] like we've been sleeping beside each other every night I feel like we had something thing and then you've just gone and shut all over it that's why I said what I said and it's interesting it's a very interesting because obviously if you spend time with friends in real life you know you spend x amount of hours with them in a you maybe go for a barbecue you're spending five hours there with them and then you don't see them for a week yeah he's the last person I'm seeing when I go to sleep he's the first person I'm seeing when I wake up like we were so kind and respectful to each other and because that's the way you need to be when you're sleeping in such

49:27 Close Quarters with people that you bet like you're getting to know but at that point can I ask another question on that because it's very fascinating to me I like the thing that got me hooked on Survivor was the psychology the human psychology aspect of it just got me hely yeah and there must be something about like because sometimes it's hard for a viewer that hasn't experience it to understand it but you're literally sleeping next to this person you're relying on them for body heat and for survival and then you've this element of getting voted out in a game that game becomes your reality does it almost feel like life or death you know like my torch getting snuffed I am almost like this is that instinct that is the survival Instinct that also kicks in at a very Primal level almost because this is your life in the game and you're relying on someone to keep you safe in the game like does it have like that type of effect on you when you're playing the game out thing yes and it does like and certainly with the viola vote it was my life I knew my life was my Survivor and my dream and my time out there on the island that was so important to me that I've waited so long to do I'm not going to jeopard I'm not going to let one person jeopardize it and so that's why I did what I did at the time and then you know I and the way I reacted with Mark

50:47 When I did I mean obviously I was shocked but then you know Kitty how does it change when you get out of the game like you know you because you had this very Primal deep Instinct while you're in the game you're in the Fishbowl I should almost say and you now out of the game clearly you and Mark have got a decent relationship you still talk now and you know how does it change like how do you switch after the game and take that sort of do you still have that like is there still those feelings like do you let it go and leave it at the game leave it on no definitely it's all out in the beach Chris it's definitely not here I've definitely I let it go out there even like in end gosh like it's so em emotional I can't even explain how that last like three or four days on the island how emotional it is being out there and experiencing it with Baris and with Mark and with Raymond and with Kirby as the final five and then I was the final female and gosh so many emotions I and I'm very happy to go into that as well but Mark and I have definitely like we think that we've gone through something so special out there together and like in when I first got back I explained it like a toxic marriage

52:08 Like we loved each other we hated each other we loved each other we hated each other and then we had Kitty who was this Con amazing conju she was she had this gift of bringing people together and she and she's like come on guys come on guys you know we got to get it together we're going to start working together again and she was so beautiful she was so amazing and so we literally like we'd look each other we'd give each other a hug and then and he and I would hash it out like we'd talk it all out and you saw some of that but you didn't see all of that and there was a lot of that yeah I feel like I feel like I've got a really good bond with Mark as well the first time I tried to get him onto the podcast he gave me his phone number and I phoned him in the middle of his McDonald's order so I now know what Mark orders at McDonald's so if we ever were to play game together Mark you betray me your secrets out I'm telling the world exactly what Mar McDonald's yeah exactly I've got some I've got some blackmail material on them we talked so much about food out there I'll let you know that we talked about food sex and going to the bathroom like the things that matter it's the important things in life it was so funny nonstop I know all the McDonald's orders that everyone would take and what everyone wanted as

53:28 Soon as they got off the show and it was so it was so funny so funny God I do want to back track for a second before I move forward again because Gabe had a question here for you and asked if you had both of the v's on the beach with you who was your first Target out of the two of them would it always have been Viola or did you feel like Valeria could be a bigger threat like where were you sort of leaning towards if they were still both in the game in the same tribe as you it would have definitely been viola right okay so she in your mind was like the bigger threat out of the two yes and you know have a think about it like it posts merge because we knew that merge was coming as well I mean that girl I mean taking nothing away from Valeria look at her she was an amazing physical threat she's she was an even bit bigger physical threat than I thought she was ever going to be or I think anyone ever thought she was going to be she was incredible out there but look at Viola like Viola is she is she was so strong so strategic and I just and I just thought to me she was she would have been my target regardless of whether and you know maybe things would have been different if the tribe swap had gone differently and there was Val on our beach but no fola was still the one that I felt me personally that she was the

54:48 One gunning for me I would have thought just based on the edit again because I don't know Viola don't know Valeria as well in person i' to talk to both of them as well I would to everybody I would literally interview every single in your cast because I thought it was such a good cast all everybody I thought cast at the season hats off to the casting team but looking at them valyria to me seemed more like she was very blunt where Viola had like she had this social game about her as well where I feel likea probably like the way that the edit showed her just being very brutal with her comments and things like that was that like very accurate to how like I know she probably doesn't mean anything bad by it but how she comes across there was definitely like yes you know she's I think you knew where you stood with Valaria do you know what I mean she didn't hide those things from you because that's not in her nature to do so although I know I've heard her all in discussions with Mark like she thought that when we went to a feast and I you see in the edit me telling her exactly what happened with Viola and I told her the truth and she didn't believe me and then she went back to Mark and spoke about how she thought that she'd been lying to Kitty and I and how she thought that she got away with it that we didn't realize that she was lying

56:08 And it Kitty and I knew she was lying like we knew she was going to gun for us like come on like she's she had that written all over her face so she was a bit easier to read in terms of that but you know no at that time Viola was the right Viola was the right choice at that time so I was going to let this question slide personally but Australians Survivor memes they're kind of setting you up with this one he's asking can we talk about the Nathan's jacket talk about Nathan's jacket bloody oath that jacket okay well Brandon I will and I'll tell you all like that jacket kept me warm I would so Nathan left he left all his [ __ ] he like when he was voted off he left all his stuff in the shelter I Val was sleep sleeping with next to Mark so she had the Mark's Poncho going and whatever clothes they had they had clothes over the three of them I had nothing I had body heat I was actually at that point sleeping beside Jaden so I'm not snuggling up to Jaden and but and I needed to keep warm because at night time it was freezing so I would literally so I got that Jack the jacket was just left there and I literally just I would curl up into a ball as and would sleep under that jacket I slept under

57:28 That jacket gosh how many nights like what day did Nathan leave like day eight day nine or something well I slept under his jacket for 39 nights like it was the best thing that ever happened to me and I had no clue that Valeria was wondering where the jacket was do you know what I mean I had no idea that she was that she thought that the jacket was hers I had no idea until merge and then Raymond said to me oh my God like the jacket you know how come you have got the jacket Val's wanted the jacket and I was like what are you talking about like I've had the jacket the whole time I'm not letting go of the jacket and the day that you see me say to her please like it was raining that day and I that's the only thing that was keeping me warm at night whereas she was sleeping beside Mark was keeping her warm at night time with and I didn't have anything and so that was my warmth so yeah I it's a lesson to everybody it's a lesson to everybody that's ever going to go play this game like anything you do is going to get like hyperfocused they're going to put it on a show they're going to Ed because they've got to tell a story and they had to tell the story of why you didn't get the votes at the end so this was like little you know I guess breadcrumbs that they left throughout the season for people

58:48 Just to point to say it make sense why Caroline didn't potentially get it but it's not the full story and that's why podcasts are great because it gives us that context yeah and that was one interaction that probably the only interaction that they of course got on camera with Valeria and I about the jacket because I wore the jacket it like I it was hung up above where I slept and to dry out during the day because Chris nothing dried like I went with the worst clothes to Samoa and nothing like I had a shirt and a wind sheeter and they were never ever drying ever so you were sleeping in damp clothes and because the jacket was so well paded and sleeping with that over me even on the night like after merge and I remember like the shelter's leaking water it's pouring I've got this like rain coming through the shelter and I literally put that over my head and sletch like that with over my head not caring if the rest of my body got wet at all because I just wanted to sleep because I knew we had a challenge then next day and you just would do anything for sleep now rumor has it rumor in the Endo out there is that Nathan's jacket was never really returned to Nathan The Producers have taken confiscated it after the season is

1:00:08 This true that's the do the producers have this just in case ghost Island Australia is a thing will Na's jacket make an appearance in ghost iseland let's set the record straight right here right now okay I'm going to tell you it exclusive we asked the very important questions on the what happened to Nathan's jacket I'll tell you what happened to Nathan's jacket the last day Ferris and I you know obviously in the shelter on the last day we know that we're having to get ready to go to Tribal Council I asked them can I collect everyone's like items that people have left can I pick them up and take them back to tribal to give to everyone after and I was told I could so I had a song so I didn't collect everything but I collected like kitty song Nathan's jacket and all sorts of different bits and pieces that I thought people might want after the show so I had this huge song full of stuff including Nathan's jacket and I took it I dragged it oh my God I walked like two not help you no horrible we're gonna have to go shamer for this he makes I didn't ask for help I didn't ask for help but no he didn't help me but

1:01:28 That doesn't matter but anyway I dragged this thing back to transport to go to Tribal Council get it to Tribal Council and they say to me can't take it in Caroline and I'm like are you joking I've drag this thing including Nathan's jacket all the way from the shelter where we go to Tribal Council and they said not you can only take your stuff in and I was I was pretty devastated because what I actually wanted to do is I wanted to give Nathan back his jacket and what also nobody knows is that Raymond during the show said after the show Caroline can I have Nathan's jacket and I was like sure Ray you can have the jacket but my intention was to give the jacket back to Nathan I was so grateful that I had his jacket to keep me warm for as many nights as it did warm and dry as much as it possibly could do you know what I mean so that's the story of Nathan's jacket so there is still a chance you're saying that the producers that grab his jacket and that potentially we could see it come back on Australian Survivor ghost Island no chance I don't think so I think it's I think it's probably Gone Chris yeah you're breaking so many fans Hearts by saying that were like the have to so maybe if I get on the next season I've got to try and find that jacket and I've got

1:02:48 To wear it yeah I feel like I feel like now it's like how Boston Rob has got the Boston Rob you've got to have like Nathan's jacket as like your yeah I'm that should be in the claws like if you want me to return to play again I will only come back if I can have it I can wear the jacket replica yeah of Nathan's jacket a blue tribe because the jacket's blue yeah everybody here is saying no we love Nan's Jack this is the real content everybody wanted everybody wanted Nathan's jacket to be on ghost and turn into an advantage if people got it into the game you know but I wanted to know with the whole vote when you got to the merge you work with Ferris Eileen and Raymond for a vote and very it was very well done like I actually even applauded it here on the podcast the fact that you were willing to look at other avenues clearly Mark and Val at that point didn't want to play game or they didn't want to play ball in the confessionals a lot of itall is like I'm working with the devil like why was feris perceived as this devil in the game or like it felt like the whole season everybody was saying Ferris is this devious player but he up until that point from a viewer standpoint and I know the perception is probably different because you don't see the edit

1:04:09 He seemed like an extremely loyal guy from what we saw can you maybe talk to that a little bit and why you kind of said that and why you felt like you were GNA work with the devil because Kelly so Kelly came to remember Kelly came to our tribe for a few minutes yeah so she gave us the download on a few on a few what was going what her interpretation of what was going on at the Rebels camp and so and what did she call him she called him a mafia boss I think and you're like there can only be one mafiaso in this game and it's not gonna be Ferris and anyway and so I when I met Ferris I mean he was just beautiful I just felt like I could just go and snuggle under his arm and he was just he was like a big warm cuddly teddy bear but you know Ferris was obviously there to pay hard and he was I could see him watching everybody so closely anyway but I thought you know I thought I was Fu Chris like honestly I was I really had to turn things around because at that point I knew that the target was definitely going to be on my back again and how was I going to do this and I'm like I said I'm very good at talking to people

1:05:29 And I adored Ferris and getting to know Raymond like after I finished sleeping with Mark sleeping next to Mark I moved up the back of the shelter and I was like it was Ferris Raymond myself Alex Jaden yeah it was great and they were so they were so kind to me then especially Alex like I have such a soft spot for Alex is on the podcast next by the way he's coming on Thursday so there you go for everybody who wants to hear from Alex he'll be on the show as well yeah he was a he was a he was a I mean you know obviously he got me in the end but he as a as a human to human he was out underneath that shelter and doing challenges and everything he was he was very kind to me but yeah you look conflicted you actually look conflicted when it came to because you work with them for a vote and then you left that Alliance and to me and I could be wrong here it felt like the reason you left were because the people you were working with didn't necessarily want to work with ferrah long term but it looked like you actually were conflicted about that because he saved you in the game at that moment I was no I said so what you don't see is I said no I said like as Eden came to Kitty and I or us separately and then together and said I want

1:06:49 To I want to make a big move I want to get Raymond out and I was like absolutely not happening I think you see me that actually I think you see me say absolutely not I do think I saw that yeah I was like no you can you can do it I'm out I'm not I'm not in this vote with you guys and then and then Kitty and I spoke with each other and we were like we looked at all the pros and cons and we were like no we can't do this like we need to do at least one more vote with Ferris and because we need to get his trust and you know he saved me that night so anyway I did feel really like I felt terrible actually and so I said no and then Kitty and I said No and then he came back to us again and he said well these are the reasons why I think we should do it you know you're going to be at the bottom of their majority so if you think that you're going to hold any Power in there you've got another thing coming and I thought you know what from that perspective he's right but you know and it was so it was like what do I do like do I stick with Ferris and be at the bottom of his Alliance or do I and stick with the numbers or do I try and make this big move with Eden and oh my God Eden was just

1:08:09 He was just so I you know Eden was so amazing to play with out there and he had such like such he had so many ideas so many ideas in terms of strategy and then trying to work through all of that and make sure that it was the right thing for my game it probably wasn't the right thing for my game at that particular point but I went along with it for him and unfortunately it was his undering and that was oh [ __ ] Chris that was one of the worst nights out there because I knew it was his baby's birthday the next day the next day happened to be the auction it was like far out like in terms of Survivor bucket list stuff to tick off it was it was a huge day that he missed out on and all Kitty and I kept saying to each other was We Wish Eden was here but this is what you get I guess when you put people into the game that are not necessarily students of the game they do unpredictable things and In This Moment Jaden did a very unpredictable thing in winner and you know when you talk about some people being recruits and some people being applicants I think it really makes the game hard to predict at times was there any warning signs for you throughout the whole season where you were like I don't know if I would be able to rely on Jayden's vote long term was there

1:09:29 Ever any of those doubts or the fact that the way that the edit showed him he always came to you last minute for the vote did he built some loyalty I guess up to that point where you didn't have a reason to distrust the vote going into that night well you know especially in the early part of the game Jaden was definitely he was like you guys sort it out you tell me what you want me to do and so we didn't you know we what I what we should have done more of and I know Mark has also spoken about this is that we should have bought we didn't think he wanted to be in on the stratch chat of what was going to probably go down and so we didn't bring we should have bought him in on that Strat chat more I did say to him early on I said I was really honest with him and I said to him look buddy I know that I'm going to be heavily targeted this pre-merge part of the game and if you help me now you're going to be targeted because you're such a big physical player you're going to be targeted after the post-merge part of the game so if you help me get through that pre merge I'll help I'll work with you and I'll help you through the post-merge but it just wasn't something that he wanted to do with me so I did I did put it to him because I felt that was hope like

1:10:49 Something that I felt that he could work with but it wasn't to be to noil and the fans missed out the opportunity to see the first rock draw an Australian Survivor as well with him doing that so fans were keeping tally and were getting excited but you know unfortunately it didn't turn out that way now there is another moment here in the game and it was very interesting to me and maybe you can talk a little bit before we even talk about the idol find let's backra to the period in between and the fact that you got three of the middle-age Mafia into the top what was it top six that was pretty impressive that was really impressive to see after none of you anticipated that no like I did not anticip it really shocked me after the move that you did against Mark I thought 100% that was the going to be the downfall of the middle-aged Mafia they're not going to go deep into the game can you talk about how you maneuvered with the middle-aged Mafia and how you were able to mend those bridges with Mark I guess because there were times where you didn't you didn't care for him at all and then there's times where I'm going to work with him like how did you play the season in such a fluid manner because there's not many seasons that you that you see that happening where people are always keeping the options open you know yeah well I guess I guess in life though you can't hold a grudge like I mean

1:12:09 I went when I went out there I was 55 I'm now 56 I just knew from life that you can't like you know and this even holds true with the Valaria situation so I think from that moment that Mark won the car and then he took us he took Kitty Valeria and myself cuz I did not anticipate that he would take like I was shocked V I was so shocked I cried like I had tears in my eyes when he said come on Caroline let's go and at that lunch we really like mended a lot of bridges so I know that Valeria and I really hash things out but I think as a group like between Mark and I and between Kitty and Valeria even we talked about how important it was for us all to stay together and we did like we did then vote together and so it was really it's one of those things like I know that you know people you know people were trying to say to me do you forgive and forget and it's like yes I forgive and I for and I'm forgetting this because if I hold on to this Grudge through the rest of the game at some point I might need Valeria's vote I might need Mark's vote H didn't work but do you know what I mean like I don't want to burn I didn't want to burn any Bridges and I think that's

1:13:29 What the edit didn't show that I really tried to play as you know as much of as a social game as I possibly could obviously it didn't go all go in my favor but I really felt like I wanted to I look I in the end I did ve very much respect Mark and I did and I did want to work with him and I did think that he was worthy to be in that final five final four now I do have a very it's just the spur of the moment question that sort of came up for me you know obviously we had Scott leave the game earlier on due to mental health reasons the way it was portrayed on the show and he said I needed to go for my own sake which gave you that second sort of chance in the game and then there was a very because I was going to say you know Ferris had some really big bombastic moves and he was quite a social player so you know you went up against a bit of a juggernaut here in the end by him taking out Kirby or directly being able to flash that it kind of looked like he was making that choice because he had the idoling at the you know it's like I can sa but I'm not going to do it I'm stepping away so it was a really big move in front of the jury but one move there that for me was quite interesting was and a lot of fans spoke about this was the Raymond advantage that ended up taking out Valeria in the game where Raymond sort of faked not feeling

1:14:50 Well in the game faked like and we were kind of critical a little bit in the sense of how does how does the people out there how do they not split a vote or why do we not see like for instance if I was out there I made a very cold-hearted calculation on the podcast which probably if I was out there I would think very differently and I said I wouldn't vote him out because I'd rather have someone suffering that will take themselves out of the game but everybody wanted to give him his wish right can you talk through those moments as someone that was out there that just saw Scott leave not that long ago suddenly Raymond's not feeling well did that have an effect on your thinking around it and also if Raymond did get to the end would that have had blowback on him because he kind of played this up to play this Idol was it seen as more than just a game move by people out there can you speak to that at all does that make sense yes it all it definitely makes sense I look it's so different watching it and being out there because in that moment out there you saw me like I was watching him I'm a nurse and a midwife so I'm watching how much he's like how much water he's intaking and how much food he was he was he wasn't eating and he was barely drinking and I knew that like God if you if a if someone's GNA fake this I didn't even like it looked genuine to me and especially after what had happened with Scotty

1:16:10 You don't see it but I make a you know a small speech at that Tribal Council about the fact that you know we've all been affected by mental health in some way like I know it's directly affected me and I don't know anybody that hasn't been affected by so it was very I'm just a very empathetic person and I really felt for Raymond in that moment and you know and then Ferris played up to it he said okay get everyone to shout out their vote when they're up at the voting station and in a way I feel like we you know maybe we were made to look a little bit like fools at that point because he obviously was fine and he wanted to get and he wanted to make a big move so there's two sides of it isn't there's that really emotional empathetic side but then there's that Survivor game play strategic side to it as well and so you applaud the fact that he could you know that he really got it over all of us every single one of us he we all of us our hearts went out to him because and I think that just shows you how much heart all of us had because we let the game go to save this guy who we thought was really unwell and

1:17:30 I mean you know Ray a really quirky guy so you don't want to push the boundaries you don't want to push the envelope you don't want to make him feel bad about what he's going through out there and so we thought that we were doing the right thing yeah it's very interesting and I think again like I said it's so different like this is why Survivor has been on air for over 60 seasons and in South Africa Australia us you know and there's so many Global seasons in non-english-speaking countries as well is because you could play this thing out 300 times and there'll be different outcomes and different scenarios and yeah and it also reminds me of kind of like one thing Tyson said on winners at War where he said some people can take the loss other people's let it destroy them you know because they go out of the game they become bitter they really think about I went out there I had a crack you know maybe it didn't work out my way and I think this is why I applauded the move that you try to pull out pull off with the idol I was I was high on it because I knew that going into that you had limited information but I do I definitely want to ask you about that obviously you find

1:18:50 The idol which is such a great moment to be able to find the idol and there were questions asked by my co-hosts in regards to why you didn't let Mark in on it and my observation was well Mark's betrayed you a couple of times in the game like that's a very difficult thing in my mind to trust someone that has done that like can you talk through your thought process there and you know why you tried to Target Ferris if he potentially had an idol in the game and if that was also in your thought process going into it I could be targeting yes you talk us through that because it was a very interesting I applaud the move I applaud the fact that you tried to play and you went broke to be honest oh God you know it was there was so many steps it was so it was complex I really I really wanted a move for myself that I could take to the end and I thought you know part of that thinking was okay if I told Mark number one can I trust him and number two if I include him on it then is it his move like is it our move or is it my move and so I he and I were obviously getting along really well I what you don't see is I actually found that Idol on day 33 so I didn't find it that day I held it for nine days until I played it and so I got to think about okay how am I going to play this and

1:20:10 How I knew that I probably was going to use it to save somebody and if I knew that was Kitty was going home that night of course I would have played it for her anyway so I knew that Ferris had an idol and I so what I wanted to do is I wanted I wanted everyone knew I'd spoken to Kirby I'd spoken to Ferris I'd spoken to Ray and I was like I want to just you know this is it I want to get Mark out let's vote for Mark I wanted them all voting on Mark and then and they seemed they seemed quite genuine about it and then I said to Mark you don't see this but I actually said to Mark I want you to vote I want you to vote for everyone's voting for you and no that's not what I did that I didn't say that I so he thought that I so I wanted him to vote for to vote for Raymond and I didn't explain why and obviously I didn't explain why but what I wanted him to do is I wanted him to vote for Raymond I was going to vote for Ferris I wanted everyone else to vote for Mark I was going to play my idol for Mark and then either Ferris would play his Idol for himself or he wouldn't and we would go to a revote and we could either if Ferris played his Idol then we voted Raymond out and if he didn't then we voted Ferris

1:21:30 Out so that was where the logic sat you've also got to remember pardon I can see I can see that so you had a backup for Ferris if everybody had their vote wrong on Mark Ferris does get spooked and plays his Idol Raymond would have been the automatic vote in that case so you still got someone out of that power position because Ferris and Roman were so close to each other and I got a rebel and I got a rebel out and so that's what I that's what I really wanted I mean you know Kirby said to me you should have told me I would have voted for you I vote I would have voted with you know she would have loved to have got rid of Farah so do I do I regret not telling Kirby and Mark yes there is look and by the same token you know you're starving and you're tired and you'll like your mind is on all the time so every minute that you're awake you're just thinking about okay what's going on here where's everyone going you know you're just constantly strategizing in your own brain constantly and so that's where my mind was at was it probably you know looking back on it now like at the time I just thought [ __ ] if I if I pull this off like this is the best move that I think that I can if I can get to the end I'm

1:22:50 Hoping that this can win me the game anyway it would have been one of the best Mes in Australian Survivor history if you pulled it off like it would have been right the moves and but I hope that you find some solist on this because like I said this is why I brought up the whole Tyson comment because some people will look at that and probably not be able to sleep knowing that I was there 90% but it was like 10% off I needed to do x y z and you know you've got a swing you've got a swing at it when you're out there and you did and that's something I think you should hold your head high that you tried something there I think a lot of fans missed point because they were so results focused right it's like you got that one thing wrong here or something wrong here I'm not a young 27 year old guy like you know that was I am a middle-aged white woman and you know I did everything I could I played as hard as I could I strategized as much as I could I gave it absolutely everything out there I did not leave anything like what I perceived at the time to like I didn't feel like I left any stone unturned I tried as hard as I could I couldn't do anymore and like I will never ever let that eat away at me I am so

1:24:10 Proud of what I did and what I accomplished despite the result I know what I did in my game out there and I know that my close friends that I've made out there know what I did and I can hold my head high I'm not letting this eat at me at all I am not at all and I will tell you that on the night of the finale you know obviously I knew that Ferris I'd only found out that day but I knew I knew on the night I knew that because a lot of people spoke about the fact that the ending was filmed and I just want to say hello to mark because he said hello a while ago him in the life as well like Ferris kind of mentioned that and I guess he didn't directly mentioned it got out on another podcast that there were two different endings filed like at the end one where you win one where you don't win like I don't know how I feel about it almost like you feel a bit iffy because you get someone to celebrate the fact that they've won survived and then they don't win it and they don't my husband comes out and it's like the best the best feeling ever and then I mean I knew I knew that Ferris had won I knew that there was a majority of rebels on that on that on that jury I knew that you know that last day was probably

1:25:31 One of the hardest days of my entire life like we woke up and I knew there was a breakfast coming and I was so excited that you know we're doing the last we're doing the last day together we're having the breakfast together I'm like Ferris we're getting breakfast this morning and he's like what I said yeah on the last day of Survivor you get breakfast we're getting pancakes we're getting vegetables getting orange juice we're getting coffee you know it's going to be awesome and he's like oh my and we got croissant and it was amazing and then that's but it's a very busy day like there's a lot happening that day because it's the last day so you're doing all sorts of other filming stuff as well and so then you have a small fin night time to prepare for this final Tribal Council and you your body has already left the building like yeah I can imagine it's done 40 s days Chris it's done 47 days of by this point like I lost nearly eight kilos out there I my body was already thinking like it can't help it like you're thinking about that bed I'm thinking about cuddling my husband that night I'm thinking I'm going to eat chips and salmon you know like I'm thinking about what I'm going to eat but you've got this big

1:26:51 This huge thing to get through and it's going to get me emotional because like I tried so hard I knew in my head what I needed to say I knew what I wanted to get across to the jury I knew what my moves were and in that moment like when you like en and unfortunately I was first so Jonathan says to me okay let's hear your pit Caroline you know I had it all in my head but and I got most of it out like I felt like I did very well in my pitch and you don't see you don't see oh my gosh you don't see a lot of my pitch and you see answers like there were different people that asked different questions and you don't even see my answer but you see Ferris answer do you know what I mean so yeah and so Ferris I mean I'm not taking anything away from Ferris please don't think that because I love I love haris and I love him as a winner and I'm honored that what he's doing you also had an experience so you're talking about your experience I am I am talking about my experience and so I did what I what and I also I wanted to be genuine out there I didn't want to [ __ ] anyone I didn't want to lie I did not lie I did not I did not want to be anything

1:28:11 Other than what I wasn't what I like I wanted to be myself but I also didn't want to beg like I wanted to win G like I wanted people to see what I had done and I had hoped that I had portrayed and I had conveyed all that and that's all that you can hope for like I can't even remember like what I said or I can't even remember like it's such a like an out of Body Experience now thinking back about it but you had certain portions of the game where you were solidly in control like it wasn't like there weren't yeah there were certain portions in that game and it kind of comes to mind like I've always said that in Survivor it's almost like the jury forgets about the pre-merge because half of them don't see it but your pre merge was really like really impressive so if a lot of you maybe saw how you ran that pre merge portion of the game could have changed a lot of people's perceptions but then they saw the post merge which again like you managed to survive like wasn't one of your pictures that you were almost never on the wrong side of the vote I think you had like once where you were the wrong side I was I went to 18 tribal councils and there was only twice I was on the wrong side of the vote and those two oh balloons yay and that was Kitty and Eden that was it I knew

1:29:32 On every other where at every other Tribal Council where the vote was going I knew who was going home so if that doesn't tell you that I didn't know what was going on in the game then I don't know what does because I definitely felt like I had a good handle on what was what was happening and where the votes were going and I felt like I was in enough conversations and whatever I needed to be to know what was going on so I can't I you know I can't I can't you left it all out there you left it all out there let's have a couple of like quick round fun questions to finish it off on and then I'll ask you one I just want to say one thing I just want to say one thing and when I went to fire with Raymond like we haven't spoken about that like yes yeah it was very impressive well that night you know because I haven't created fire at in Camp but I've helped and I've collected wood and but we had fire starters there like Jaden loved making the fire Mark loved making the fire Rihanna loved making the fire so I didn't want to like I didn't want to step on people's toes and so I was like you guys do that but Raymond and I've heard Mark talk about how Raymond kept on running off with the Flint and practicing with the Flint and it was like go for it that's F I'm going to be I know I'm going to be okay so in that like in that moment out there when I'm you know when we you know we've got a split

1:30:52 Vote and we know that we're going to go to fire like my heart is beating out of my chest I'm just like get your [ __ ] together Caroline you just you've got to do this so I had an outof body experience I don't I can't remember I don't even know what happened with Raymond like I don't even know whether he got fire all I was focused on once I stood in front of that on that at that desk or whatever it was all I knew was I had to create fire and I just blocked every single thing out I didn't hear Jonathan I didn't hear what my what the other guys were saying to me I just knew I needed to do it and I bloody well did it and yeah that was a pretty great experience like let's hope that if you ever play in a World cide season and you're playing on the Survivor us franchise that no one sees the footage otherwise you're gonna be a big threat over in the US if you can make like that oh it's funny yeah anyway Know This brilliant moment brilliant moment okay I'm G to go through a couple of quick questions fun questions just questions and we'll with one last question that I like to ask allv players when they come theast quick the wrong page in front of me let me just get my quick fire question I don't want to share this with you at any stage because I want you to know so speed Jeff probes Jeff probes or jlp

1:32:12 Oh jlp let's go 26 days or 39 days oh 39 days 100% I feel like I know I feel like I know where the next one's going to go edge of Extinction or classic Survivor classic Survivor there we go if you could play with any us Survivor player who would it be and why oh Tyson would be fun pavd be fun oh there's too many like I've got like give you both Tyson and py I think those are two very solid choices have anyone actually and this is not a quick file but have anyone actually reached out to you from the US like have you had interactions with us players like who was the one that reached out to you where you had like an out of body Fan Experience you're like I can't believe I'm talking to this person so many like there's been quite a few oh gosh I've had ight reach out to me I've had yeah I've had I know there's probably about five of them that have reached out to me and I can't even remember their names off the top of my head that's fine yeah must all from the newer seasons yeah butow Owen's really nice as well yeah if you were to return to a

1:33:33 Season and a tight Destiny twist and you were tie to one of your previous players that you played with meaning how good they do in the game is how good you do if they get voted out you get voted out as well like what player from your season would you want to return tied to your destiny in the game oh my gosh Chris what a question try and keep him not a quick fire takes a bit of thought yeah gosh Kirby I think it's a very solid choice I wouldn't mind being tied to Kirby as well I think she was a great player who's the king of Australian Survivor is it George or David gard it's George okay queen of Survivor is it Haley or shie oh I love them both I can't I can't I love them both for different reasons I love them both if you could return on any themed season which season would you want to return on blood versus water blood vs water there we go so you take your husband or take my daughter I take my elest daughter yeah she'd be amazing she be would be she would she be like Sierra yes that's dangerous for you yes she would but she'd be she'd be so great she'd be fantastic yeah which player that

1:34:53 Left in the pre merge do you think deserves the second shot oh pre merge gosh let's go let's go Garrick there we go you already said you had that connection if you were to play the Amazing Race tied to one of the Castaways from this season which Castaway would you like to play the Amazing Race with oh good question maybe Mark maybe Eden Mark or Eden they'd be unreal yeah Eden would be really good I feel like in the puzzle side of things if it comes to that yeah I'm not good at like drinking yucky stuff I can touch spiders I could probably eat a spider even but I'm not good at eating yucky food so yeah anyway I don't know that is it for the for the quick round question so last question I'd like to ask you and I appreciate your time so much I said we were going to do this for an hour but this has been such a great chat and we went way over you know what's the one thing that you know 10 years from now if you never get to play again which hopefully you do what's the one thing that would always sort of stand out for you A Memory that you had out on the island that could either have been on the edit could have been somebody something that's not in the edit but whenever you talk to your husband

1:36:13 10 years from now 15 years from now maybe your daughter you this would be the fun thing that you would always remember about being on the show there's a couple of things I don't whether you saw the when we received the letters from home that was one of the most emotional days and seeing everybody so emotional about their loved ones because we didn't get it until quite late like anything any love from home till quite late in the game later than normal and well I felt it was which is good I think it's good yeah bols the emotion yes and so it absolutely it added to the emotion I mean nothing will past my meeting my husband out there and seeing him and like you're away from your loved ones for you when you're out there for 47 days you're gone for you know let's say two months and there's no contact and there's nothing and so seeing him and see like receiving that letter from home and seeing the photos of my three children and the photos of him and I like I would read those letters every day I would look at those photos every day and that's what would get me through every day other things like there were so many Beautiful Moments

1:37:33 Like really fun moments that I feel like in the early on in that Titans tribe that I look back on really fondly we I think the way that we all first got together and the night chats and the stories people would tell at night time I'll never forget any of that but you don't see any of that yeah there's a moment any stories about any family members being bank robbers or anything like we don't get those stories but in the US we did get those stories yeah no there was some like some crazy stories Chris but I cannot kiss and tell like yeah that's fair enough that's fair enough Chris is saying this was such an ins it was so insightful thank you for telling us about your experience Caroline and I think a lot of people would have really enjoyed hearing your thoughts about the season you know I just want to thank you for playing the show first because if people don't go out there and play the there is no for us fans to enjoy and for your willing to come on here you know we'll definitely make the Tom didn't get on tonight but I feel like at some point Tom does need to face the music so maybe byon like come on let's go and meet for dinner one night or something let's go yeah put him in his place he deserves OB no I don't want to put him in his place because Everyone's entitled to their opinion and I can only imagine as a podcaster like that's what you know you've only got

1:38:53 What you can like you're just seeing me on the screen and you can only make your judgments on that and so you know and sometimes we play we sometimes also I think sometimes as podcasters like for me I'm always I've always said this and I will always continue to say this I am willing for anyone if I've had an opinion about someone that they are like so wrong I will face the music I'm happy to talk to someone about it and I acknowledge that we talk about an edited show it's 100% the fact and sometimes podcast do also say things to just you know as long as it's not completely going in on someone's character that's where I feel like you need to draw the line but we also try and be entertaining so sometimes we say things for the entertainment shock value of it like it's a show at the end of the day but no really enjoyed having you on the show this has been so insightful you're more than welcome to come back to the podcast whenever you want to talk about anything you want to you know if you ever felt like next season you wanted to talk about an episode maybe judge some other casts for a for a I'll be a guest podcaster with you 100% 100% what are you doing at the moment is there anything that people can like follow or you know are you sort of planning on doing anything outside of the show that people should take note of no I'm doing I'm not doing anything at the moment I'm focusing on like I am

1:40:13 Doing a few podcasts at the moment which has been a lot of fun and a lot of a few a few non-s Survivor podcasts which has been really nice as well I mean they want to know about my experience on Survivor but from a different very different perspective so that's been really good but you can find me I'm mamalicious on or Caroline ctis on Instagram I'm on Facebook I'm on Tik Tok you just need to search my name it's what do you do on Tik Tok let people know well you're gonna have to have a look I've just started on Tik Tok and it's been a little bit of fun nice okay well we'll definitely give you a follow on Tik Tok we're on Tik Tok as well I think Tik Tok is such a fun platform I like Kick Kicking and Screaming getting dragged into using it because typical Millennial like you know and we don't the ti to is like the generation it's like the generation after us I feel like or maybe like a very younger Millennial I don't know but now I'm doing it and I'm kind of hooked a little but you know it gets dangerous sometimes you got to get off the Tik Tok but it's there's so many creative people on there so definitely will give you a follow on it and for those people that tuned in what I will do is I will also put links to car so if Caroline afterwards if you send me any links that you know you want people to follow you on I'll make sure to put it in the description and also pin it in the comment section so people can go and follow you as well if you like this podcast and you want to see

1:41:33 More interviews in the future Please Subscribe the more people we get following our channel it's absolutely free it just helps with our credibility when we reach out to people like Caroline or any other Survivor players that have played the show before and it makes it easier to get others to come onto the show and for us to have these conversations obviously we try and keep it as light as we can we try and get the live audience involved as well which I think quite unique on the n a lot of other podcasts so like you know I feel like I only did half of the work tonight the live the other half so they make my job easier really when it comes to up for the other guys not being here tonight I'm so disappointed I didn't make 100% I'm gonna have a Stern talking to Tom because I feel like he could have made it so I'm gonna definitely have a Stern talking to him but you know please subscribe put the notification Bell on we've got a great Community here with the TNT podcast but for now I'd like to say everybody in the live and everybody watching this grab your torches head back to Camp we'll catch you guys on our next live see you